26062 April Fools are supposed to be completed by midday, I thought

Author   ZabadakPosted on Categories Daily Cryptic
I thought this was going to be a doddle, one of those where the first two across clues go straight in along with most of the intersecting ones. But somehow the time stretched out to just over 20 minutes, and the board then added insult to injury by telling me I had two wrong. As I write this blog, I’ll try to find out what they are, and why (so far) they have also caught out every other entrant (that, of course, may change). One answer put me in mind of an April Fool a few years ago, where only the clues were different but the answers were the same, but I don’t think I can reveal which clue or where it’s mimicked.
In an effort to make this look a bit like BBC text commentary on sporting fixtures, I’ll attempt to keep up a running commentary on the state of play, so here goes:

Across

1 RIGHT privilege
Or Tory, the right leaning party de nos jours. A simple double definition, as Verlaine joins the party on 2 wrong
4 DEBIT CARD  Payment facility
And an anagram that almost writes itself in, an “invalidation” of BAD CREDIT
9 FUNDAMENT  bottom
One of those euphemisms for ones botty. Amusing: FUN. Woman honoured: DAME. NoT disheartened: NT. The club conversation is growing in perplexity
10 OTTER  Animal
You are required to invent a comparative version of Over The Top. Toffer gets a 2
11 ENSURE  Guarantee
Condemnation provides CENSURE, from which you delete the first letter. Crosswordian suggests a hack attack
12 FLAGPOLE  standard bearer
F(ollowing) LAG (trail) and the most numerous of all Crossword Europeans, the unbiquitous POLE. Dzień dobry proszę pana.
14 HOKEY COKEY where parts of the body shaken
Your vital fuel is KEY COKE, which you place inside a HOY, a sloop rigged boat. That’s what it’s all about.
16 BIRO writer
I toyed with my shortlist of writers ending with O, but it turned out I should have been looking for  László József Bíró’s eponymous invention. RIB backwards and O(ld) Rosselliot has posted with 4 errors. Now that’s at least different.
19 TIDY Orderly
Or large as in a tidy sum.
20 PRESS AGENT  promoter
SAG for drop is inserted just over halfway into PRESENT for here
22 SEAGOING  built for the water
An attention seeker is not a person, but an OI! Stick it in an anagram of GANGES
23 INCOME  Money generated
The US state is Maine, which abbreviates to ME. IN provides the – um – IN, and business the CO. Assemble in a pleasing order.
26 DEPOT Warehouse
Had many drinks gives TOPED. Reverse.
27 CARGO SHIP Large vessel
GOSH for good grief plus 1 (one) swallowed by CARP, a fish I’ve heard of (and fed)
28 UNDERGRAD  student
An anagram of RED GUARD and N(ew)
29 TAROT Pack of cards
One of which isn’t the A(ce). The red is a TROT(skyite) . Insert one into t’other

Down

1 RIFLE SHOT What finds body…
…though it’s something of an &lit. The wordplay is body tissue: FLESH in the middle of RIOT, doing duty for uprising. All quiet: must be a drinks break
2 GENUS kind
Setter is not, for once, “me” or “vicious swine” or (as I initially thought) DOG, as I failed to separate it from the “say”, but SUN. Put them together and reverse both.
3 TEA TRAYS  Servers of drinks
Though presumably mostly teas. I think this works as some (sc drinks) for TEA, plus fishy RAYS after T(ime). Any better suggestions? [edit: Indeed there are. Or should that be is? Galspray has – have some: EAT plus fish: RAY all after T(ime). I was thrown by not being able to eat tea, a drink with jam and bread. And that brings me back to d’oh]
4 DEEM Judge
The river is the DEE (any one of several) and it sits atop the last letter of streaM
5 BETELGEUSE  a star
In Orion, and home system to Ford Prefect. The spelling is generously provided by the wordplay (sort of). BETEL is the stimulating leaf, good provides a G, drug provides E(cstasy), probably now superceded everywhere except Crosswordland, and to have gives you the concluding USE. There are now 9 with two wrong, one with 3 and one 4. Arguably this is giving everyone a clue as to how slow my typing is.
6 TROUGH water channel
TOUGH “crosses” R(iver)
7 AUTHORISE   OK (verb)
Every other part of nAtUrE surrounds the mighty god THOR and his hanger-on IS
8 DIRGE lament
G(ravity), the well known and universally experienced force, is surrounded by DIRE for dreadful.
13 TOURING CAR  vehicle.
“Customise” AGINCOURT (I’ve been there, the French put on a tolerably even handed museum) and include R(ex) for king
15 KIDNAPPED book
Known (by me) to be by R L Stevenson. Child (KID) dropped off (NAPPED)
17 ON THE SPOT  immediately
…or possibly in trouble.
18 RAINCOAT  protective garment
A versatile presentation of ACTOR IN A,
21 BOATER  hat
…or (a bit creatively, perhaps) sailor.
22 SADHU  Hindu ascetic
Melancholy’s shorter version, SAD, takes on an even shorter HU(g). Trust the wordplay if you don’t know the word.
24 OTHER  different
The article is THE (definitely) and its gilt edging is the OR version of gold.
25 BRED raised
My last and possibly slowest in, But it’s easy. An example of something that may have risen is BREAD. Now what does that sound like? Hmmm… It is possible the Crossword Club site has (been) frozen, as there are more no new entries. Cock up or conspiracy? I’m persuaded by the great Sherlock: ‘If you’ve eliminated all other possibilities whatever remains must be the truth, especially if its on the Times Crossword Club site, when it’s invariably a cock up.’ Elementary.

55 comments on “26062 April Fools are supposed to be completed by midday, I thought”

  1. Z, in 3dn it’s “have some” = EAT.

    Three errors for me. Two unforced, and one down to the fact that it’s HOKEY POKEY everywhere except the UK I think. No excuse though, should have taken the time to parse it.

  2. I found this amusing and not so hard. Like vinyl, I had to follow the cryptic to spell the star.

    3 mistakes, at least according to the club marking system. KIDMAPPED (fat finger) is obviously one, but I’m joining the impending class action to appeal the court’s decision for the other two.

  3. A very enjoyable and somewhat inventive puzzle that I completed in 34 minutes so I am feeling quite pleased about that. I rather liked OTT-ER.
  4. Fell at the final fence inventing my own star ‘Betelgeist’. took ages to see my penultimate too, FLAGPOLE. Like Jack, chuckled at OTTER.
  5. After yesterday’s mauling, managed to get through this very enjoyable offering without too many dramas – must have been on the wave length…

    Re. 3d, I parsed it as T(a little time)+EAT(have some)+RAYS (fish). On edit: sorry, just noticed Galspray had already covered this…

    Did not know the star, so that went in on wing and prayer based on the known Betel plus remaining wordplay.

    Still baffled by RIFLE SHOT – construction was quite clear, but the definition / whatever eludes me totally!

    Edited at 2015-04-02 06:13 am (UTC)

    1. I think it really is an &lit, and you are meant to envisage a civil disturbance in a state where protest is met by lethal force. A policeman’s colourful report: “in the execution of my duty, I fired my rifle and my shot found the soft flesh of rioter A”. Wouldn’t happen in a civilised country.

      Edited at 2015-04-02 07:33 am (UTC)

      1. Ah yes, now I see it – thanks very much for that. Nasty business…

        By the way, trust the delightful Munkipuzl is in good fettle – haven’t seen her at the QC blogs recently. Please pass on my regards.

      2. Like nick the novice .. I don’t get it.

        Grateful if you might expand/clarify what seems like grisly answer

        1. Not sure I can, beyond saying your verdict of grisly is about right. The whole clue is the definition, and while there may be many things that will find soft tissue in the course of civil disturbance – rubber bullets, truncheons, boots, fists, water cannon, et al – only rifle shot works when you treat the whole clue as wordplay: FLESH in RIOT. Grisly will have to do.

  6. Dried myself out for this one and was able to return to ordinary levels of solving ability with a time of slightly under 12 minutes. Liked this puzzle a good deal, it wasn’t trying *too* hard but there were lots of fun things to be found all over the grid, an early Easter egg hunt if you will. Enjoyed the creativity of RIFLE SHOT!
    1. Seems pretty silly to me, but then I’ve never been a creative type or a Guardian reader. 🙂
      1. You just don’t have the experience of being SHOT AT by jackbooted minions of THE MAN at a demo against banks/fracking/rising quinoa prices that we Guardianistas have to contend with on a daily basis, man…
        2. Of course in the case of quinoa Guardianistas are protesting at poor Peruvians being priced out of the market for their former staple grain as a result of rampant demand from Guardianistas.

          Edited at 2015-04-02 09:24 am (UTC)

          1. I fear quinoa will forever remain as much to mystery to me as “fair trade” has done all these years.
            1. On a re-run of 8 out of 10 cats the other day someone was pronouncing it as “key noir”. That may well be correct but it sounds far more pretentious than good old “quin ower”.
              1. Chambers also gives ‘key knower’. Whatever the correct pronunciation is, I find it very difficult to say without putting on a silly voice. I do like it though.
                1. I’m now lost in a reverie of wondering how Keanu Reeves (he of “whoa!” fame) says “quinoa”.
  7. I think there may be a glitch in the answer checker. I did this on my android and when submitted, it showe one incorrect, that being 16 ac which is shown as ‘MIRO’, not ‘BIRO’.

    Apparently ther was a Gabriel Miro, but if rim has an alternative meaning to tease then I surrender.

    I assume that all on-line crosswords use the same master checker.

    It has to be BIRO.

    John R

    1. I did consider MIRO – he’s on that shortlist – but RIM=tease? Let’s not go there unless the ST does. And even then.
    2. P.S.
      Also, 12 ac is shown as FLAGHOLE (H not P). Clearly it should be FLAGPOLE.
      If this is an ‘April Fool’ it’s a bit late.
      1. My Holish friends will be mortified if they’re edited out of the crossword.
  8. Thank you so much for asking after me! 🙂 My fettle is somewhat coarse-grained at present; fighting a lingering catarrh bug and resting my ‘residual limb’ after I bruised it in a midnight slip.. Since I started work as a LSA I find that when I get back from work I inevitably fall asleep ‘watching’ Countdown and wake up with a thick head.. As it’s the Easter hols for me at the moment I should be on the Quickie but lethargy and my inner chimp have ruled thus far. Z8 will be off with the grandchildren soon today – I may try a solo effort!
    1. Ah yes, the inner chimp… Tricky thing to tame: I still find myself doing armpit scratches and simultaneous jaw jutting and teeth baring during supposedly serious corporate meetings.
    2. Munk1puzl – excuse my curiosity; I looked up the acronym in Wiki, not knowing how it described your fettle-diminishing occupation; none of the many offerings there seemed likely, except possibly “Latent semantic analysis” or “Learning Support Assistant, an alternative term for support teachers” – is it the latter? Or are you an International Life-Saving Appliance?
      1. I’m afraid it’s the teachers’ aide! I taught for 35 years; now I’m happily back in the classroom without any preparation, marking, cover duties or patrol duties. I get paid about 1/5 of my final salary at early retirement but as I now have both a Teacher’s Pension and an OAP the wolf remains tethered at a safe distance!
  9. 11 mins. Because I did this on paper I didn’t have a software glitch telling me I had two wrong. That would have been extremely frustrating to say the least. Even though HOKEY COKEY is “hokey pokey” almost everywhere else in the English speaking world the latter clearly doesn’t fit the wordplay. The biffed OTTER was my LOI after AUTHORISE because I couldn’t see the OTT-ER parsing. Not that I gave it much thought.

    Edited at 2015-04-02 09:22 am (UTC)

    1. If as I am given to believe “hokey cokey” is a corruption of “hoc est corpus meum” I always feel like cokey is preferable to pokey. Though I suppose “hocus pocus” does have more euphony than “hocus copus”.
  10. 12 minutes with the obligatory 2 errors to confirm I’m in good company. I like HOKEY COKEY, although it took a while to get there as I needed to correct my stab at RIFLE BUTT first. Nice puzzle generally.

    I don’t think it requires Sherlock Holmes to theorise that 12ac was originally PLUGHOLE, and the editor then realised that was going to be in yesterday’s puzzle, so changed it, or at least tried to. No idea with MIRO, as I’m sure our friend Joan has appeared before.

  11. When I saw I had 2 errors I thought I’d done the same as Galspray with “hokey Pokey” and that I’d somehow mixed 5d up with beetlejuice. Very glad however to be in good company. No neutrinos on the club board so far. Hmmm. 14.35
  12. 14m, with the obligatory two errors. I got through nearly all of this very quickly, but then was held up for over five minutes at the end by BOATER. I’ve no idea why.
  13. This was pretty quick but sadly I don’t know how quick as I was also subject to the erroneous answer checker as mentioned above.

    Otherwise an enjoyable solve.

  14. No time as the 2 errors flowed through to the iPad app but must have been about 15 mins. Tim’s PLUGHOLE theory looks convincing but MIRO . . .?
    A gentle solve
  15. After yesterday’s dismal performance, I was very pleased to finish this one in 7:10.
  16. This felt easier than yesterday’s but took me almost as long at 38 minutes. A nice enough puzzle but lacking the interesting surfaces and wordplay of yesterday’s as exemplified by a trio of dull two-word dd’s. Two’s company, three’s a crowd where dd’s are concerned.
  17. 12:14 on paper and I’m claiming flagpole and biro as correct. Should have been quicker but had a little trouble at the end with trough, otter and authorise (I can’t work out if that’s a firm of accountants or what rugby referees shout when organising a scrum).

    Thanks for parsing hokey cokey (didn’t know hoy), press agent, seagoing and tea trays, all of which were pretty much biffed.

    I’m going to Palma for a few days on Sunday so while I’m at the Fundació Pilar i Joan Miró I’ll ask the locals (a) if they think he’s a writer and (b) if they know of any context suitable for drawing room chatter where rim can mean to tease.

  18. About twice as quick as yesterday’s at around half an hour. Never heard of the US ‘pokey’ alternative, so no problem there. As I do the puzzle in the paper version, also don’t have to put up with being told I’m wrong! Off to stock up with booze now – tomorrow’s Good Friday and here in Ireland it’s not a public holiday, but alcohol cannot be sold. It’s always the day I fancy a drink.

    Edited at 2015-04-02 12:53 pm (UTC)

  19. 18:33 … and in the esteemed company of those with 2 errors. I’m in post-migraine mode, which sometimes makes me faster, but not today.

    I did like the clue for FUNDAMENT, which is itself one of those inherently funny words. As is FLAGHOLE, which is apparently the ‘right’ answer for 12a.

    OTTER was a write-in for me as I’m currently working through the archives of Araucaria puzzles (having discovered him late, lucky me), and just the other days I encountered:

    One with swimming ability more exaggerated? (5) (Grauniad 25,616, April 21st 2010)

    1. I went through all of Araucaria’s puzzles on the Guardian website a few years ago and they taught me a lot. I’ll probably leave it another year or two before I do them all again. I recommend the Bunthorne puzzles as well.
      1. Thank you for the recommendation, Andy. I’ve made a note. I tend not to do the Guardian very often precisely because I find some of the setters frustrating but I can never remember which ones.
  20. 22 mins with the two erroneous errors being flagged up by my iPad. LOI was RIFLE SHOT which I didn’t understand but couldn’t really be anything else.
  21. 21min for me, and I believe I am now up to date. Failed to parse OTTER – the closes I could get was a mockney ‘otter.
  22. Late in the day after golf, 20 minutes, not so difficult, and no doubting the correctness of ‘Biro’ and ‘Flagpole’ as minuted above. I liked OTT-er.

    I am in slow correspondence with the Times Plus crew as to why I should need to pay more to access the same content on one device (Android) than another (Windows) … seems illegal to me. Does the Android app work, if I do pay for it? Does it give you an on screen keyboard? Obviously you can read the paper but you can’t do crosswords in a browser on a tablet, no keyboard.

  23. I see the leaderboard is now headed by PeteN: 20 minutes with one (count it) error. That’s genius.
  24. I spotted that. Sly move, throwing in an error to top the board over Easter!
  25. Well, we all seem to have two errors, so I suppose we are agreed that there is a glitch in the leaderboard (20 minutes could hardly be the best time otherwise). Much relieved, despite my 563 points, that my 45-minute solution agrees with z8b8d8k’s (and my common sense). By the way, what are the 8’s for?

    1. They are the nearest live journal would let me get to As:. Zabadak was a song by Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Titch, written to demonstrate that a good song can stand the test of time even if its lyrics have no meaning.

  26. Glad it wasn’t my turn to blog, when I always do the puzzle online, but usually print a copy to do over breaks, as I breezed through this one and would have been muchly miffed at board shenanigans.
  27. 10:19 (with the usual two errors) for me, making another of my ludicrously slow starts. A pleasant straightforward solve.
  28. Got on the wavelength with this and pretty much wrote the answers in as I went along, with no major hold-ups. About 15 mins.

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