I liked this rather well, despite or perhaps because of its somewhat quirky nature and occasional oblique use of the crossword language. I don’t think there’s much in the vocab to frighten anyone though the composer is perhaps (undeservedly) in the less familiar column. The longest words have, in my opinion, a pleasing quality to them, the sort of words you’d want to slip into conversation if you remembered them in time. The surface readings of the clues are consistently excellent, for the most part looking like perfectly normal strands of English rather than contrived crossword clues, but the wordplay is also spot on.
I slipped through in a gentle 18.46, with a fair bit of time checking at the end to make sure I’d correctly divined the answers and their constructions, which helped in at least one instance where I was unsure of the spelling. The resulting conclusions I’m happy to present with clues in italics, definitions therein also underlined, and SOLUTIONS standing out in bold capitals.
Across
1 Figure doing poet harm? (8)
METAPHOR It helps to understand an implicit “of speech” to catch this type of figure. Doing is your anagram indicator (Chambers has “to beat up, thrash, assault” as informal meanings of do), so play with the letters of POET HARM
5 Old boy with fly catches first of common carp (6)
OBJECT O(ld) B(oy) plus JET for fly (we’re jetting/flying off to Bulgaria ‘cos it’s on the green list) and “catch” the C, first of Common. Surface: yes indeed, you can fly fish for carp.
9 Rocks and water guarding top-class freezer (8)
ICEHOUSE ICE as in G&T on the rocks, water is then a verb producing HOSE surrounding the “Mitford” top-class U.
10 Target six clubs with German backing (6)
VICTIM Six is VI (be thankful the setter resisted the temptation to put sex clubs), add C(lubs) and German for with, MIT, reversed (backing).
12 Look, media queries regularly reveal a compulsion to match colleagues (4,8)
PEER PRESSURE Look gives PEER, media gives PRESS, and the even letters (regularly) of qUeRiEs provide the rest.
15 Poor old American introduced to lady without notice (5)
LOUSY O(ld) US for American into LadY without the AD notice.
16 Shame about a diver’s descent (9)
PATERNITY A slightly lateral definition: paternity is inter alia is your origin on you fathers side, so a description of your descent. Shame is PITY (pity/shame about the clue), insert A TERN for a diver/diving bird. I’m assured it’s something they do.
18 Poet with horrible old retro GI uniform (5,4)
OLIVE DRAB …which Chambers says is the olive green of American military uniforms. Reverse (retro) everything of BARD (poet) EVIL (horrible) and O(ld). Already the third time O(ld) has turned up.
19 One gives nothing away about computer game returns (5)
MISER Cutesy definition. About is RE, and the computer game a SIM, the whole reversed (returns)
20 Pass over present that may divert sailors (12)
CROSS CURRENT Simple enough: pass over: CROSS, present: CURRENT.
24 Ideal location: best one’s in centre of square (6)
UTOPIA Best: TOP, one: I, centre of square:UA. Insert first two bits into third.
25 Smart bear nicking king’s desktop device (8)
INKSTAND I think the setter intends smart as indicating fashionable, hence IN. Bear gives you stand when you treat both as verbs. “Nick” or insert K(ing). As I recall, Yogi was “smarter than the average bear”, but tended to nick pickernick baskets.
26 Having a go at tiresome job for judge (6)
TRYING I have this as a triple: Having a go at, tiresome and job for judge all translate thus.
27 Mirror orders occasionally incomplete logo (8)
RESEMBLE You only need the alternate (occasionally) letters of oRdErS and then most of EMBLEm, logo, for the rest.
Down
1 Help individual to crack nuts (4)
MAID Somewhere along the line from female servant to lady who does, help morphs into maid. Individual gives you just the I (one, again), which cracks, breaks into MAD for nuts.
2 Turn up suitable bucket (4)
TEEM Many days recently it has teemed and/or bucketed down with rain (it was Wimbledon) Suitable is MEET, a rather old-fashioned meaning but fair enough. “It is meet and right so to do”. Oh, and reverse (turn up)
3 Convert polyester for weaving (9)
PROSELYTE Pick the right ends for the definition and the anagram indicator. Convert is here a noun, the answer deriving from the “woven” letters of POLYESTER, slightly to my surprise.
4 Design super robots to save energy making rackets (12)
OBSTREPEROUS In which I was saved from an error by counting the available Os and Es . It’s an anagram (design) of SUPER ROBOTS plus E(nergy)
6 Composer twice drinks litre before start of symphony (5)
BLISS Arthur, in this case. Among other things, Master of the Queen’s Music from 1953 to his death in 1975. Twice gives BIS (musical notation, and what the French say when we would use their other word encore). BIS “drinks”, takes in L(itre) before the S from the start of Symphony.
7 Fan like this in part of the UK visiting the Orient (10)
ENTHUSIAST Todays matryoshka clue. Like this, THUS inside N(orthern) I(reland), still part of the Brexit tangled UK, and then both in EAST for Orient.
8 Medic in row with CID logs in here (10)
TIMBERYARD Those logs. Medic is MB, in TIER for row, then YARD for CID via Scotland Yard
11 Growth expert organised Anglicans gathering underground (12)
PROTUBERANCE Expert PRO, organised RAN, CE Anglicans (Church of England) “gathering” TUBE for underground, what Londoners call their subway/metro network
13 Dracula’s health indicator? (5,5)
BLOOD COUNT Oh yes! Amusing double definition, the first a plausible version of Dracula in popular imagination.
14 I tot up minutes perhaps in modest study of scores, etc (10)
MUSICOLOGY I plus SUM reversed (“up”, this is a down clue) then LOG for minutes, perhaps set in COY for modest.
17 Recall past rock group is boring in church (9)
REMINISCE REM is the rock group (don’t be put off by past, it’s part of the definition) the IS “bores”, penetrates, IN CE (that version of church again)
21 Shoot scene running round island (5)
SCION I’m more used to scion as a descendent, child of, but it’s also shoot as in a bit of a plant. SC(ene) plus ON for running round I(sland)
22 Counter bachelor’s gibe (4)
BARB BAR for that sort of counter, plus B(achelor)
23 Woodcutter has a nap, ignoring hole (4)
ADZE Familiar enough for those of us trying to get rid of a tricky Z in Scrabble. A nap is A DOZE. I don’t think I’ve seen the O represented by “hole” hereabouts, but I don’t see why it shouldn’t be. Ignore it, anyway.
Tricky but nice. Thanks setter and blogger.