Times 27009 – aarrr, Jim lad, avast ye!

What larks! Three quarters of this little beauty done in under fifteen minutes, with occasional recourse to a sip of the grog. The north-west corner was looking odd, with a two-letter word ending in V and another V lurking in 1a. I re-checked 6d in case I’d made a typo, the anagram was clear enough. Then I dimly remembered my Merchant of Venice for O Level and popped in 4d. Back to 9a. I’m not keen on that as a two-letter word ending in V, but it had to be, unless the answer was a regnal number. I didn’t know the phrase, but it fits the word play. The light dawned on 1a, once I saw the double definition. Leaving us with 2d, H_A_T. Only one thing it could be, but as I write this a completely satisfactory explanation escapes me.
The other three-quarters of the puzzle I thought was witty in places, notably 8d, but not difficult.

Definitions underlined, anagrinds in italics.

Across
1 Break up in manifest cold (6)
SHIVER – double definition. The expression ‘shiver me timbers’ dates back a few hundred years before Robert Newton in Treasure Island, where the word ‘shiver’ has the meaning ‘break up’ or shake apart, as in a cannonball or large wave hitting a ship. And if you’re shivering, you’re manifesting being cold.
5 Give woodwork final smoothing, receiving time and a half (5-3)
STAND-OFF – SAND OFF = final smoothing of the woodwork, insert T for time. Stand-off being a rugby term for one of the two half-backs, the one who is not the scrum half.
9 Fall asleep in wagon, very voyeuristic viewing (3-5,2)
CAR-CRASH TV –  CART = wagon, insert CRASH for fall asleep, and V for very. I didn’t know the term, but I see it is in Collins and not only applied to scenes of cars getting totalled, although YouTube has no shortage of those. Somehow I don’t think of TV as a two-letter word, more of an abbreviation, or the internet domain name for Tuvalu. Which used to be a Pointless answer.
10 Pipe suddenly lowered for sounding (4)
DUCT – Sounds like ‘ducked’ = suddenly lowered. Duck!
11 In fight, large Italian twisting blade (8)
STILETTO – SET TO = fight, insert L IT reversed (twisting).
12 Put off woman and survive without one (6)
SHELVE – SHE = woman, L(I)VE = survive, remove the I.
13 Religion, but no Mass, for Scots girl (4)
ISLA – ISLAM loses its Mass.
15 To wed money, they say, can be a bloomer (8)
MARIGOLD – MARI sounds like marry, GOLD = money.
18 Cherries, see, covered in fungi (8)
MORELLOS – Insert LO = see, into MORELS a tasty kind of mushroom.
19 Pressure on buzzer creates alert (4)
BEEP – Add P for pressure to BEE for buzzer. Seen this before recently, probably on a Sunday.
21 A Sikh has one billion fish (6)
BANGLE – B for billion, ANGLE verb to fish. All Sikhs have a bangle or KARA, one of the five K’s.
23 Concerned with opening blade, I trust (8)
RELIANCE – RE = concerned with, then insert I into LANCE = blade.
25 Some beef? Wrong to eat horse (4)
SHIN – Insert H for horse into SIN = wrong.
26 A detective story, the ultimate gift for cellist? (3,4,3)
HIS LAST BOW – Double definition, one a suggestion. Conan Doyle published a collection of Sherlock Holmes stories under this title. Not sure why our setter chose a cellist, as Sherlock played the violin!
27 Not happy to travel regularly on such rubber? (5-3)
CROSS-PLY – CROSS = not happy, PLY = travel regularly. Do cross-ply tyres still exist on new cars? Maybe in India.
28 Old guard losing heart a total failure (6)
TURKEY – TURNKEY loses its N, i.e. middle letter or heart.

Down
2 Enthusiasm of boxer finally ready to mate? (5)
HEART – MY LOI because I couldn’t parse it to my satisfaction. My current explanation of this is a little woolly, something to do with being ON HEAT = being ready to mate and R (boxer finally) being inserted. But there’s no ‘ON’ and HEAT alone doesn’t. mean ready to mate. I suppose ‘to mate’ could be doing double duty, meaning ‘mate’ the R with the HEAT? Explain.
3 Dither, as everyone is caught up in active moving (9)
VACILLATE – ALL inside (ACTIVE)*.
4 Head from court case over to business centre (6)
RIALTO – (T)RIAL = court case without ‘head’, add TO. ‘What news on the Rialto?’ says Salanio to Salarino in the MoV, Act 1, talking business.
5 Son indifferent about husband, I emphasise in my case, as one dealing with children (15)
SCHOOLMISTRESSY – Messy wordplay for a clumsy old word. S for son, insert H for husband into COOL = indifferent, then insert I STRESS into MY.
6 Warning notice avoids funny lines (8)
ADVISORY – (AVOIDS)*, RY = (railway) lines.
7 Magistrate seizes duke in quick move (5)
DODGE – Insert D into DOGE.
8 Apparently that of Helen being a thousand ships? (4,5)
FACE VALUE – &lit. Witty, if it’s original.
14 Struggling actor hems old garment (9)
STOMACHER – (ACTOR HEMS)*.
16 Rock, overturning large table across front of room (9)
GIBRALTAR – BIG reversed (overturning large), ALTAR = table, insert R(oom).
17 In public he rubbished safe sort of investment (4-4)
BLUE-CHIP – (PUBLIC HE)*.
20 Be very eager to employ Liberal, one that’s flexible (6)
PLIANT – PANT = be very eager, insert L and I.
22 Kind of an Einstein? Not I (5)
GENUS – Einstein was a GENIUS, remove the I (not I).
24 Cut part of bulb (5)
CLOVE – Double definition.

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